Matt Starts School

Its only been two days, but take one look at our apartment and you'll know it is currently occupied by a student. A backpack, fully stocked, sits anxiously by the front door. Books and binders are scattered about the couch and coffee table. The computer in the bedroom constantly displays a document written in some sort of foreign math format.

When Matthew is home, he is distant - with good reason. He is either nose deep in a heavy text book, frantically scribbling on a piece of paper, or hunched over the computer desperately trying to stay awake. I only utter a few select phrases to him, and he usually only responds after a long pause. I really don't mind. I mostly feel sorry for him.

This brings mixed feelings on my part. After a long, somewhat leisurely, semester off, we are both excited he is progressing in his schooling again. But I'm also suppressing my worries. He is taking some difficult classes, and while I'm confident he can do it, I don't want him to be overwhelmed. I also can't help but think back to last summer. It sucked. Many times we passed each other on the stairs and I only saw him to kiss him goodnight and good morning. While others packed up to go camping or travel to see family, we shlepped off to our jobs, exhausted. We were, however, very blessed to spend a weekend with his sister after a lot of fanagling and maneuvering.

I'm hoping this summer will be different. I know it will be on my part at least. I know what to expect from him right now, and I honestly have come to terms with it. I think I will enjoy our time together a lot more now. I know "dates" will be fewer and farther between, but we can still have little moments during the day when his mind isn't on school or work. I know that on these dates he may feel the need to trace the PH formula on the restaurant table cloth. But it's all part of his learning process. I'm also working less hours at the job I hate than I was last summer. I have a feeling that's going to help a lot.

But I'll let you know how it goes.