Here it goes....

For some reason, I woke up this morning just itching to get out of the house. And although three hours with preschoolers is absolutely thrilling, I needed just a little something more.

So I called up my friend Aubrey. Haven't gone out with her in awhile and I really like spending time with her. She's just one of those genuine people, you know? She doesn't let the small stuff ever get her down and is probably the easiest person to talk too. She's just got that positive vibe that rubs off on you and I need that as much as possible in my life. That's one reason I married Matt. He's the rainbow in my thunderstorm....

Haha! ....and the award for the gooiest, cheesiest line goes too.................

But seriously, she's not all kittens and rainbows either. Aubrey's not the kind of friend that will just agree with every opinion I spit out. It's really kinda funny how she politely and discreetly mentions that she sees things a different way.

Sowe made plans but then I was like, okay, what is there to do in Rexburg?

Matt and I have saved up a little money that is burning a whole in my pocket. I haven't been shopping for clothes in MONTHS and I'm starting to shake every time I pass a store. So naturally my first instinct was shopping. BUT that is plane ticket money and a new dress is not worth sabotaging my marriage.

So we settled for a dinner out and a movie instead. It was during dinner that I realized I haven't been out with a friend in a while because I had such a good time just talking to another human being besides my husband. I'll be the first to admit that I've been a bit anti-social for the last month or so. But gabbing with Aubrey was really nice. I got to hear about the recent change in her plans and gossip about married stuff. I found myself opening up about things that have been bothering me lately and that I haven't felt compelled to confess to anyone. You "guys" just don't know, it's so good to have "girl time."

...............Okay, now get ready for this..........

I finally saw "Twilight." I'm surprised to say I enjoyed it, but not surprised to say I liked it a lot more than the book. Of course I found myself laughing at parts I don't think I was suppose too, and I was still annoyed at Bella's naive teenager nature, but all in all it wasn't bad.

When people ask if I like the book series and I say no they retort with, "Well, it's a fantasy book and I guess you just don't understand that. It's not your thing."

(clenches teeth) No. Believe me. I understand fantasy. I eat sleep and breath fantasy. But I've already lived that "fantasy." You see, I dated "Edward Cullen." The tall, fair skinned, painfully handsome "Edward Cullen." He had his alluring secrets, his mysteriousness, and his sports car. He was different from all the other boys and animalistically protective of me. My parents were wary of him. His friends told me he was "dangerous" and no good for me. But his emotional scars and accidental faults made me unconditionally in love with him.

I promise to stop using "qoutations" now.

But this little fantasy went on too long. Years too long. And in a backwards way he warped my mind and broke my heart. When I left he kept a very close eye on me. Ultimately he never let me go, and came this close to hurting the person I was really meant to spend that utopian forever with.

So now I can't help but cringe when I see more stupid girls fall into that same false sense of love. But they can't help it, I know.

That's probably the biggest problem I have with the twilight story. And it bothers me because I've worked soooo hard not to write my story with artificial syrupy romance. Not to say there is no fluff, it's just subtle. I went for more action and conflict. But if that's what people like to read, then I guess I just can't cut it.

This has bothered me for quite a while. And I haven't really told anyone. Except Aubrey.

But hey - I'm okay. This was not meant to be a depressing post. I appreciate them but it is not nessicary to post "Hey, hang in there," comments.

Thanks :)